Missing him....

Life, filled with ups and down. So easy to say, yet so hard to understand. Chinese new year is just around the corner. You can imagine how excited I am to go back and celebrate it with my family. It always been very festive in my house when it come to Chinese New Year. Since my grandmother is staying with my parents, the reunion dinner always held in our house. All my father's sibling and their family will gather in our house, have reunion dinner then stay on till after midnight. That is when we will play some card games, or burn so fire-cracker. Happy times...
But this year, although the dinner and the get together will still be going on, there will be something missing in our heart. His name was Nicholas.We had him with us just the short short two and a half years. He brought to my parents the joy of having another grandchild into the family, and the cuteness and the funny things that he did just to make people laugh, precious. Oh, my dear nephew. How I miss you. There is so many things that I wish I could have done or say to you, and all the toys I wish I could have bought for you.. Now is too late, I will never hear him calling me again "ku-ku, ku-ku..." that was how he used to called me, which means auntie in chinese.. I didnt have chance to see him the last few months before he left us. Hubby, Kutty and I just moved here and Kutty just started schooling, so we didn't go back to Malaysia as often as we wanted to. All that we can do were to pray and pray for his recovery. We visited him once in the hospital but he was sedated at that time. We had to leave in a hurry to catch our flight so we left before he got up. How I wish I had stay longer just to hear his voice, because that was the last time I saw him :'-(   That was in April 2011. How I wish to have spend more time with him and to hug and kiss him to let him know how much I love him... He went for surgery after one week and was getting better, but then the doctor suggested a bone marrow transplant, just to make sure there will be no more traces of malignancy in his body. That was his last battle,  the hardest one, but if he gets through it, he will continue to live on as a normal and healthy little boy. Jesus loves him more, Nicholas lost his battle to infection due to low immunity after the transplant.... I lost my beloved nephew in 11 July 2011. Auntie love and miss you very much, Nicholas. There is not a day that had past by that I have not think of you. And I am sure everybody will miss you dearly on CNY, thank you for all the joy and laughter that you brought to our family the short time that you were with us.. Jesus bless his soul..

God our Father,
Your power brings us to birth,
Your providence guides our lives,
and by Your command we return to dust.

Lord, those who die still live in Your presence,
their lives change but do not end.
I pray in hope for my family,
relatives and friends,
and for all the dead known to You alone.

In company with Christ,
Who died and now lives,
may they rejoice in Your kingdom,
where all our tears are wiped away.
Unite us together again in one family,
to sing Your praise forever and ever.

Amen.

With my princess kutty 2010

Chinese New Year shopping 2011 with princess kutty